Day 51 (Nov. 29) - Thankful

Today I want to express gratitude. I am thankful for four men whose friendship I have truly appreciated over the last year.  Each one has been an invaluable resource--an ear to listen, a voice of reason and wisdom, faithful in prayer, and a source of strength--upon which I have relied heavily. 

I am thankful for church leadership who has been overwhelmingly supportive of my family these past number of years, and especially the past few years. Their love has shown so clearly in both tangible and intangible ways. They have exemplified being God's hands extended. 

I am thankful for friends and family near and far.  I am appreciative of their love and support.

I am grateful for my four children.  I count each one a blessing with whom God has richly blessed my wife and me. 

I am incredibly grateful for my wife. For the woman she is, the incredible worth that she has, for God's hand that has been on her throughout her life. My life is truly richer and better because of her.

I thank God for all the blessings he has given me. Blessings to numerous to count.  Blessings for which I am not worthy. Provisions for my family. 

I am grateful and indebted to many, but most of all my Savior. 

Day 44 (Nov. 22)- Cookies and the EU

In reviewing the blog notices and disclaimers, decided to confirm that my blog meets EU specs for advising people that Blogger/Google uses cookies for tracking visits.  It works.  Who knew I had multiple domains?  See https://1kyleriley.blogspot.co.uk, for example.

Day 42 (Nov. 20) - In my head

There are too many thoughts going through my head this evening.  What am I doing that's making a difference in other people's lives?  What needs to happen this week?  What does my future at work hold?  Where will the next job be?  How can I better provide for our future?  When am I going to do something I feel called to do?  What's the next year look like?  5 years?  10 years?  Where will the kids be in that time?  Am I planning enough?  Am I trusting God enough? Have I trusted God enough?  Am I living a godly life before my family and friends?

It's time to slow down and process them.  To unwind and head to bed.

Day 41 (Nov. 19) - Solo flight

Do you remember when you first got your driver's license?  I do.  I had to take the driver's test the second time because the examiner said I didn't slow down to 15 mph by the time I hit in the school zone by Meadowlark School (I believe that was a parallax error on her part) and I hit the curb while parallel parking.  But, after passing the second attempt, that feeling of independence struck as soon as the temporary license was given to me.  To be able to drive yourself to youth group, to a friend's house, or to McDonald's.  That was pretty cool. 

That feeling of excitement that you have when you first got to drive on your own is compounding when you get to go flying on your own.  There is also trepidation that comes along with knowing that you're all alone in a vehicle.  You have to follow the rules of the road and drive responsibly, especially if there are others in the car.  But, in a car, you can always just pull over if you need to slow down and think.  In a plane, it's a little more difficult.

I had the opportunity to solo a flight student last Sunday afternoon.   It was outside of our normally scheduled flight block because it was his 20th birthday and he thought it would be neat to solo on his birthday.  I couldn't have agreed more. 

After waiting to see what the wind was going to do as the forecast was for winds that would exceed the school's SOP stipulations for solo flight.  But, as I was picking up a late lunch, we found that the winds were a lot calmer than the forecast, so we both headed for the airport.

The lesson is set up so that you first go up with the student to allow him to a few flights in the pattern to get comfortable (and to make sure you as the instructor are comfortable with the student's abilities).  I told him beforehand that we'd plan on three or four landings, see how he we were both feeling at that point and then also see if the winds would still cooperate. 

After the student pre-flighted the airplane and I did my walk around, we when through the requisite checklist, got our clearance to taxi and headed towards the run-up area for 28R.  Despite it being a Sunday afternoon, which are normally light days for air traffic in Billings, we ended up having ATC given us various directions to accommodate a smooth flow of traffic.  The student was handling things fairly well, but he decided after the third landing that he wanted to do a few more before we headed back to Flight Ops.  The fourth pattern was a left hand pattern, which although normal for most runways is an exception for landing on the right side of parallel runways.

The fifth landing was a greaser, and I told the student to take me back to the Ops building.  After shutting the engine down, I filled out his logbook with the required endorsements, talked about the preference for his doing stop and go landings and to remember that he could always go around.  With no final questions, I wished him well and shut the door.

To say that there isn't an bit of fear as an instructor when you cut a student loose for the first time would be lying.  I wouldn't let him go if I didn't think we had covered everything required to review by the regulations and for safe operation of the aircraft.  But, you always wonder if he'll remember what you've taught him when you're not there to take over.  It's like handing the car keys to your child for the first time.  I've done that three times now, soloing students only twice.

I soloed in a Cessna 152 at Harvey Airfield in Snohomish, WA, on August 4, 1995.  The two-seat 152, which has a gross takeoff weight of just over 1600 pounds, is not a big plane.  And, the difference in climb performance when you suddenly lose 150 pounds was pretty astonishing.  The plane departed the runway and climbed towards the heavens like a homesick angel.  It was weird to not have an instructor sitting to the right of me.  And yet, it felt right.  It felt good.

To make a long story short, my student successfully did three solo takeoffs and landings on that beautiful late Sunday afternoon (over 21 years after my solo--my student is 20; yes, I felt old).  I was able to get a video of his first takeoff, and shot some pictures as he was taxiing back to the ramp.  The look on his face as he was shutting down the engine was one of pure joy.  That look was on his face for the next 20-30 minutes.  I remember that feeling.  It's exhilarating.  It's one unlike few others.

We then followed the tradition of cutting the shirt tails of the student (although in hindsight I did that wrong).  I signed his shirt and it's now hanging on the wall up at Flight Ops.  What a day it was.  The student was excited and I was happy for him.  What a way to spend a birthday.  I don't think that feeling will ever get old, as a solo student or as an instructor.

Day 40 (Nov. 18) - Pictures = 1,000 words

I spent a few hours last night with my mother sorting through two decades worth of pictures.  It's interesting the thoughts and memories that come back when you see different images.  There were pictures of happiness and joy.  Pictures of sadness (usually the kids' sadness/unhappiness).  There were images of people no longer with us.  There were photos of places and things that have changed.  People that have changed (age, weight and otherwise).

What I saw were people that have special places in my heart.  What I felt was gladness, joy, thankfulness.  I'm thankful for the family and friends that God has placed in my life.  I'm thankful that he has brought some amazing adventures to date.  I trust that he has a number more over the horizon.

Oh, my eldest daughter gets married in forty days.

Day 39 (Nov. 17) - Perspective, Part II

What's my perspective?  It's shaped by my history.

I'm the grandson of a Danish immigrant, who on his 20th birthday arrived at Ellis Island in New York on April 2, 1905, aboard the S.S. Celtic.  I've seen a picture of the ship's manifest.  It's amazing to see that piece of history.  As a young teen, he worked aboard a steam ship for a number of years before coming to America.  He went with acquaintances to Wisconsin to work on a dairy farm, then moved farther west working on grain farms before finally homesteading on his own in 1907 in Dawson County, Montana.  He married my grandmother, who was 31 years his younger, nearly 36 years later.  Her father was the one of the first pastors of the Amish church near the family's homestead, the beginnings of the church attended by both of my families.

My maternal grandparents, who to my knowledge are of mostly German descent, were also from a long line of farmers.  My mother's father, born in Fergus Falls, MN, the third oldest of 13, left school after the eight grade to begin working.  He worked in the Civilian Conservation Corps before also planting roots in Eastern Montana, where he began to farm, married and started a family.

My adopted grandparents both served our country during the Second World War.  My grandfather was one of the thousands that stormed Normandy on D-Day.  My grandmother because a nurse to support the war effort and was an RN for over forty years.  My grandfather, after his service, would go to work for the highway department, from which he retired in the late 70's.


I'm the oldest of 17 grandchildren on my mother's side, and eighth of 18 on my father's side (and fourth of 16 on the adopted side).  I'm the half brother to four younger siblings.  I'm among the minority of lefties in the world (and the families). 

My familial history, while incredibly important, does not explain everything.  I never met my paternal grandfather, who passed away at 87, 18 months before I was born.  My parents' separation before I was born led to my adoption into a new family.  But, I have read his writings, and I've seen his nature in his children. That's the other key to perspective.

It's the experiences I had that created the other important filter in my perspective.  My maternal grandmother and grandfather allowed me to be at their side often during my early years, be it at the kitchen table, in church on Sunday, in the Butler "quonset," or in the field (via tractor, combine, truck or denim jacket).  My paternal grandmother fostered a relationship between my father and me, and had me over many times, even after we moved away.  My aunts and uncles on all three sides provided me with so many wonderful memories and experiences.  I was "blessed" to have a third family who cared for me.

With this perspective, I've built a worldview.  I've developed a faith.  I've acquired a desire to be a life-long learner (I suggest the last two, faith and life-long learning, are the keys to developing a proper perspective).  And, I've continued experiencing the world.  I'm the first in my family to have married a non-Caucasian. I became the first to have graduated with a bachelor's degree on my maternal side.  I'm the only pastor's husband in any of my three families.

In the midst of my history and experience, I met a woman with whom I've fallen in love.  A woman whose own life's journey has provided her with a unique perspective.  While we had tangential similarities in childhood, we also had vastly different circumstances that shaped our perspectives.

My wife and I have been together 24 years, married for 23 (we married young).  We've had four amazing children, who are each so wonderfully unique.  We've been on many adventures.  We've had triumphs, and we've had failures.  We've had struggles as do all couples, as happens when two distinctly unique individuals decide to covenant and do life together.  But, in it all, we've had the gracious hand of God with us our entire lives, guiding and directing.

The multi-faceted aspect of each of our lives provides a unique set of lenses through which every person sees life.  I  understand that is a fact that is true of ever human that I meet, and with whom I get to interact.  I want them to know that I value their perspective.  I trust that I will act accordingly in showing them that desire.

Day 38 (Nov. 16) - Perspective

There's been so much talk over the past weeks and months about political candidates and platforms that it feels like such a relief to have the election over and done.  However, the results of the recent elections, especially the presidential election, have not quieted the rhetoric, at least not from the masses.  And, what may have been friendly banter has turned into fear and hatemongering.

If you haven't been in Antarctica for the past year, if you've followed the news recently, if you have seen any social media feed (not necessarily a source for accurate, objective news) over the past 10 days, it seems as though the results of the recent vote has stirred the fears of a great many of Americans.  And, I can see why, at least partially.

Why is there so much fear being expressed?  It could be that they are students of history, and they fear we're doomed to repeat it.  It could be that their personal history and experience tells them that people who act like x or talk like y are dangerous.  It very well is a fear of the unknown. 

Are the fears unwarranted? Perhaps. Perhaps not.  However, my thought on what is missing is that people are seeing things from only their perspective, without stopping to view someone else's point of view.  When that happens, there's really no opportunity for civil discourse.  There's no allowance for another's experience, for their knowledge, for their history, for their voice to be heard.  It's a matter of perspective.

What is perspective? Well, if you're drawing, it is used to give the illusion of depth and distance.  Or, if we want to keep things in proper perspective, it's to view things in their true relations or relative importance.  It is the interrelation in which a subject or its parts are mentally viewed.  It comes from the Latin perspectus, past participle of perspicere to look through, see clearly, from per- through + specere to look." This, and the other definitions, can be read from the Merriam-Webster dictionary here.  There's also an interesting discussion of perspective and its relation to standpoint, and the way one sees things because of who one is and what one does.  That seems like a poignant thought.

I have felt in the past that I am one who could open my eyes to see others for who they are, and to see things from their point of view.  I think most are familiar with the saying of "walking a mile in someone else's shoes."  When we do that, we have a chance to see others, to better understand them, to empathize with them.    We can see why they might see things differently than we do. 

However, I've found that when fear and pain set in, I have very little chance to see anyone's perspective but my own.  That's a physiological response.  But, unless I counter it, I will prevent myself from being able to logically interact with another person.  I won't be able to see their view point.  I may not be able to see them at all if I'm too gripped by fear.

We need to take the time to wear another's shoes, to understand each other's stories, to hear another's history.  After we've done that, we can then have opportunity to relate, to appreciate the other's perspective and move forward together.

Day 36 - Public office, a pursuit of service or insanity?

While I've continued writing, I've not posted them lately. I mentioned at the start that some entries wouldn't be for public consumption. They may not even be for private consumption.

A lot has happened in the past week. Amid the more public items, we've elected a new president, along with many other officials, initiatives and referendums. A number of candidates for which I voted did get elected, including presidential, gubenatorial, state house or senate. I knew some wouldn't, and thought others would. Nevertheless, I was able to exercise my right to vote (thanks to my wife dropping off my ballot since I was out of town in business).

While I join others who wonder what the future holds with the incoming elect, I'm even more in wonder at our form of government. The founding fathers of our nation had such foresight to craft a living document that has successfully provided for a peaceful exchange of power for the past 229 years (since drafted). What an incredible balance of powers they created in the executive, legislative and judicial branches. It's what gives me hope that we'll survive the next two/four years (and would have regardless of candidate).  Because of how it works.

I think our government was designed to have people from different walks of life serve for a period of time, with others from diverse backgrounds. The goal is to have these diverse representatives come together to make sure our government remains one that is of the people, for the people and by the people. A government that maintains a proper separation of powers, that maintains freedom for all citizens, allowing them to live in peace and order with others. And then, once that service is done, one returns to private life.

I studied history and political science in college.  It fascinated me.  I've often thought of running for political office.  I think the interest started at Boys' State. Still, one of the goals on my life goals list is to successfully hold a statewide and/or national office. That may cause me to be disowned by my father-in-law (at least it's not to become a lawyer, Jim).

And yet, despite pondering it often, I've not elected to run for an office. I've been elected to boards and chosen for commmittees, but I've never ran (since Boys' State).
In part, I've been too busy with life: family, church, and career pursuits--of which I do not believe politician should be a career. But, there's also elements of fear, rejection and thinking I may not truly have anything of worth to offer.  It seems like many things would also be sacrificed as a public servant. I suppose that is similar in some respects to the sacrifices made as a ministerial servant. I know something of that.

Given the media coverage these days, I'm not sure one would ever again have a private life upon entering the political arena. It would have to be hard fought, and even harder to maintain. The time is most definitely not now. Someday, perhaps.

In the meantime, I'll pray for wisdom, guidance, blessing, and peace for our elected officials, for our military, and for our nation. Lord knows we need it.

May God bless the United States of America.

Day 28 (Nov 6) – Where Am I?

Proverbs 16 sits on my mind this evening as I wonder where I am wandering.  I guess I need “the proper answer of the tongue.”  Many plans are in a holding pattern.  Some plans have been scuttled. Some were too grandiose.  Some, too costly.

Solomon acknowledged that humans in their hearts plan their course, but the Lord establishes the steps.  I feel frozen in step right now.  I don’t know that there is a clear plan to be executed right now.  Does that mean I’m just going through the motions?  There are contingency plans, but it doesn’t seem like the time to execute them either.

I feel like a ship far from land, with no terrestrial reference by which to navigate.  The motors are turning, the props are churning, but no progress seems to be made.  That gives one pause to stop.  Wasting fuel benefits no one. 

Is the proper course identified?  What means of navigation is to be used?  Are there things to be jettisoned to lighten the ship?  Is there a ship that’s sea/airworthy to continue?

I believe God in his sovereignty has a master plan for each of us.  I do believe he guides and directs, if we are willing to listen.  I want to listen.  I am listening, straining, begging, pleading to hear.

I’ll keep asking for wisdom, for guidance, for the proper answer.

Day 26 (Nov 4) – Humility and Selfish Ambition (or, “One of these Things Is not Like the Other)

Imitating Christʼs Humility

1Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. 3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. (Philippians 2:1-4, NIV)

This section comes right after Paul told the church at Philippi to live a life worthy of the Gospel.  It’s a life in which he says we should believe in Christ, and not only believe, but also suffer for him.

What are the two greatest commandments of the Gospel? Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and love your neighbor as yourself.  Those are Jesus' words, not Paul's.  But, the Man formerly known as Saul is referring to that, is he not?

Paul goes on to talk about Christ's humility, becoming a servant, even to the point of death.  That's the example we're supposed to follow.

Is Paul speaking about specifically preaching the Gospel, or is he talking about living life in general?  Is there a difference?

My heart hurts, knowing that I’ve done things out of selfish ambition, looking after my interests.  Does it matter if I was trying to look at the interests of others at the same time? 

Day 24 - What a Game

Baseball is my favorite sport. The combination of 150-plus years of history, the statistics, the pace of the game, and the drama that ensues.  There's nothing else quite like it. What a finish to a dramatic Series. What a game to encapsulate the season and end a 108-year drought.

Someday, the Mariners will be on this stage.

Day 23 - How are you?

"Fantastic."

"Great."

"Good."

"Doing well."

"Fine, thank you."

"OK"

"Meh."

"Not well."

"Shitty. And you?"

(choose one)

When exchanging pleasantries, there are days when "Just OK" is accurate.  And, there are days when it's a lie.  When someone responds to "OK" with, "Just OK?", and you reply back, "Just OK," do they really want to know if you're not OK.  Perhaps.  Perhaps not. But, sometimes, it's all you've got to say.

I've become much more cognizant over the years of how people respond when you greet them.  When I have time, I'll try to inquire for more details.  At times, I don't have time.  So, I try to find something encouraging to say.  If I can make time, I'll ask if they have time later to talk. 

But, do you ever hope they'll ask you?  Or, do you avoid the conversation all together? I've been there, done that.  Sometimes, I wish they'd ask.  Still other times, I hope they don't ask.

I think we're supposed to "consider one another, to provoke unto love and good works." Well, that's the writer of Hebrews words, not mine (yes, that's KJV).  Paul says we're supposed to "be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." (NIV)  Good words to try and live by; wish I was more successful at it.

What's the gist of this?  I'm thankful for people that want to know how I am doing.  I work to be a person that wants to know how others are doing.  And, I'm trying to not be so busy that people don't think I want to know, because I do.

Day 22 - Musical Time Machine

On a pleasurable, late October Sunday afternoon, I decided to do a two-fer by raking up leaves in the front yard (chores and physical activity).  As there were just a few leaves left on the tree and they weren't magically disappearing from the the yard, it seems like a good opportunity to expend some energy.  I decided to grab some ear buds and listen to some music while I worked.  While trying to decide on which albums would be my soundtrack, I opted to go to some that have been in my collection for a while.  In doing so, I traveled into my own personal "Wayback (WABAC) Machine."

Disclaimer:  When it comes to the Rock and Pop genres, I've typically been one to buy compilation albums of artists, rather than individual albums.  That could be because my tape collection had been filled with multiple albums from BeBe and CeCe Winans, Take6, Petra, Phil Driscoll, First Call, Michael W. Smith, White Heart, Bryan Duncan, Allies and numerous other Christian groups.  So, when I first decided to buy heathen tracks, I purchased the "Best of" albums because I knew most, if not all, of the songs on them.  I credit my now brother-in-law Mike for introducing me to the Best of Kansas while he was rocking out to it vacuuming the fellowship hall of First Assembly on his Walkman some afternoon in the late 80's.  Carry On, My Oldest not-Wayward brother-in-law.

As I've pulled almost all of my CDs into iTunes, you can see the compilation albums as you scroll through the artists:  The Best of the Doobie Brothers, The Eagles Their Greatest Hits & Best of the Eagles (Vol. II), The Very Best of Foreigner, Genesis' The Way We Walk Vol. One: The Shorts (Live), Journey's Greatest Hits, The Police Every Breath You Take, The Singles, The Steve Miller Band's Greatest Hits 1974-78, Toto's Past to Present: 1977-1990, etc.  Maybe it's because I'm frugal and its the most bang for your musical buck.

Second disclaimer: I also like listening to albums in the song order in which they were produced.  While I don't typically dive into the history of each album/song, I figured there was a reason for the layout; that's the way the artist wanted the album presented, without skipping over songs (which has been so much easier to do since the CD days).  So, listen to it in that order, I do.  Perhaps it's a bit of OCD in me.  By the way, that's one thing that bugs me about one of the last iTunes updates: its propensity for shuffling albums.  Leave those tracks alone! (Sorry, wrong British artist.)


There are artists, however, where I have multiple albums. And, two of them were on Sunday's playlist: Sting and Harry Connick, Jr.

First up, Sting's Ten Summoner's Tales (a play on his surname).

While I had an appreciation for The Police in the early and mid 80's, I was much more of a fan of their former lead singer after he went solo.  If I remember correctly, Ryan Korb had a cassette of Sting's The Soul Cages the summer we graduated from high school, with "All This Time" (the first radio single off of the album) being my favorite track.  I didn't buy it personally, but that song in particular has been a favorite since it first came out.  We even covered said tune at Navigate a few years back.  But, I digress.

It was Sting's distinctive tenor, his affinity for funky time signatures and his lyrical content that I found most interesting.  Thanks to Columbia House and/or BMG (I/we belonged to both at various points in time), I picked up Fields of Gold: The Best of Sting 1984-1994 in '94, and the aforementioned Tales in '95.  While I also bought Mercury Falling the next year, it never stuck with me as much as the other two albums.

Back to Tales.  I don't know that there's a song on the album that I don't like.  But, I really like "If I Ever Lose My Faith in You" (also covered in the past at Navigate), "Love is Stronger Than Justice (The Munificent Seven)," "Seven Days," "Saint Augustine in Hell," and "Epilogue (Nothing 'Bout Me)." It's their lyrical content, their time signatures, the musicianship, the packaging of each song that I appreciate.  They stories Sting tells in using all of those dynamics grabs me every time, as I'm singing along with him.

Sting has numerous times where he's wrestled with spiritual matters on his albums.  I hear it, and I appreciate it.  Matters of faith come up often in his work, but especially in this album.  Look and listen to the songs I mentioned above.  Or, in his song where he seemingly gives up on any faith in God, "It's Probably Me."  While I know I haven't shared the same spiritual journey as Mr. Sumner, I appreciate how he wrestles with faith in his music.  Even as I wrestle with it recently, the questions resonate in me, although with different resolve.

In listening to that album on Sunday afternoon, I was taken back to our first apartment at Fairway View Apartments in Bothell: 16724 Juanita Drive NE, Apt D-413.  I can remember listening to the album there, and on road trips in both my '92 GTI and my first '92 Saturn SL2. (I shouldn't have sold the latter to my brother--oh, the joys of a growing family, sports hatchbacks, to sedans to minivans).

It's funny how music can help you recollect times and places.  It's a powerful tool, the combination of lyrics and melody.  Songs that come on the radio can take you instantly back to a situation, which I've already given numerous examples of in this post.  Perhaps it's the combination of ethos, pathos and logos all in musical form that interests me.  Ive always appreciated performing it.  And, I appreciate it's use in worship, in recreation, at work, in therapy, etc. 

I have more to say, but it's late enough for now.  More on Harry and his influence another time.