Who am I?

After reading my wife's encouragement to others on Facebook to join her in a similar endeavor to her 100-day journaling project at jillriley.blogspot.com--one that I think is must-read material--I've been debating about doing just that.  I'm not sure that I'll make it entirely public.  In fact, I'm certain that I will not make it all public, perhaps certain days that might resonate with others.  And, being as how I've never been one to consistently journal, it will be a challenge to make it seven days, let alone a hundred.  However, I think introspection in written form would be very beneficial to me.  So, here's Day 1.

It's two weeks until my forty-fourth birthday (if I finish this in the next fifty-three minutes and thirty seconds).  That seems strange to write.  I've yet to feel like I'm a middle-aged man. I don't think I fit the complete caricature of Mike Myers' SNL skit, save some of his "super" powers and the gut (I'm working on it).  Oh, and when I have an injury, sports-related or otherwise, I've noticed it doesn't heal very quickly.  Nevertheless, time keeps on slippin'... (you're welcome for the Steve Miller Band ear worm).

But, the question that I've been pondering a lot over the past few years remains.  Who am I?

I can go with what I've listed for my Twitter profile: Pastor's husband to @ejillriley, proud father of a US airman & 3 teens, Montanan, CFI, play-by-play, project mgr, Mariners & Vikings fan. Working on patience.

That list is accurate, albeit incomplete, as far as describing me.  But, does it describe who I am?

I can list other descriptors/roles:  son, brother, friend, musician, extrovert, teacher, former board member, former coach.  But, does that say who I am?

"What do your friends say about you?"  Friendly, fun-loving, corny, kind, caring, romantic (read sappy), trustworthy, loyal, good work ethic, provides for his family, someone with a good memory, annoying game winner.  At least, I think that's what they say.

Oh, sure, I can go the Biblical route and proclaim that I am a child of God, a sinner saved by grace thanks to a salvific faith in Christ.  But, there are millions of others who can make that claim.  And, while I know I've been uniquely made, and given certain gifts and skills that I've used with varying degrees of success, I still question, "Who am I?"

I just opened up my list of goals that I first created on my 34th birthday.  Of the 21 that are currently listed, only one is crossed off, and that one came at great price.  I have one that definitely has been carried out over six of the past seven years, but I don't feel I can cross it off yet; I don't want it to be complete.  There are four or five others that are in process, but the rest? Well, I've got a long ways to go.  But, do my goals answer the question of who I am?

In light of recent history, I have been trying to determine the answer to this question.  I need to be able to answer this question.  I want to be able to readily share that answer and be able to say it confidently, as though the answer means something.

It's my current mission.